I Am Number Four: Now on DVD

I Am Number Four starts out with a panoramic shot of the Earth. The shot zooms in on a jungle, where we are introduced to two dudes hanging out in a hut of some sort. They hear a small noise, then a loud crash. A giant dinosaur/evil alien creature breaks in, and chases these two dudes into the jungle. We are then, as the audience, emerged into an X-Box game. There's leaping, dodging, roaring, and ultimately death. I don't think it ruins the plot to tell you this.

There are many action scenes throughout this flick that had me yawning. These scenes had all the appeal of watching someone else play a video game. Between the action, we have to sit through "dramatic" scenes that have the performance quality of Twilight melo-drama, and the dialouge of a half-baked Stephen King short story. And it draws out for two whole hours.

I am Number Four is obviously geared toward younger teenage X-Box playing males. There's absolutely nothing wrong with younger teenage X-Box playing males. But, there are movies geared to this demographic that are actually good. Like the new Batman series. Or the latest Pirates movie. Or heck, I would even recommend Disturbia, starring Shia LaBeouf. Disturbia is a surprisingly smart, suspenseful, and enthralling action movie geared toward the teenage X-Box crowd. I am Number Four, however, feels like a video game I've seen before. I can't put my finger on it, but the whole thing feels very stale.

While I was invested in the main character, John Smith (Alex Pettyfer), it wasn't enough to propel this movie forward for two whole hours.

The worst thing about I Am Number Four is the horrendously cheesey villain. Since John Smith is some kind of "really important", and "endangered" alien species, he is hiding out on Earth. The bad guys, who are also aliens, that are hunting down all nine of the aliens (John Smith "is number four"), are absolutely ridiculous. They're like these big, evil strong guys who are really, really mean. Think about a mix of the cheesey villains from Superman 2 mixed with romulans from Star Trek. Then, you get the picture.

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Even the cheesey dialouge and behavior of these evil villains was a throwback to Superman 2. Then, of course, there is the inevitable and forced "love story" that is not believable and stupid.
I Am Number Four is stale. It panders to 14 year old X-Box males and assumes they are dumb. Skip it.

My rating: 2 out of 5