All Star Wars movies ranked

The scene is the mid-1980's. In a dark basement in a suburban house in middle Tennessee, I sat on a sofa in a room with woodgrain walls and shaggy orange carpet watching VHS tapes on a fat 80's television. It was here that my family and friends periodically rented each Star Wars movie in the original trilogy and a young boy (spoiler - me) fell in love with a galaxy far far away. Adventure, innocence, and imagination were the hallmarks of this legendary series.

Now it's 2016, and we've just started the third Star Wars trilogy with the Force Awakens. With all the controversy of the prequels, the aging of the original trilogy, and the latest trilogy starting, where do the movies stand now? Well, I'll tell you! This is how I rank all the Star Wars movies from worst to best.

7. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones -
After the backlash of the Phantom Menace disaster, George Lucas and crew went back to the drawing board to slap together this mess. Reeling from negative criticism over Jar Jar, incoherent plot, and cartoony CGI effects, Lucas desperately tried to take the trilogy in a different direction. With disastrous results.

Attack of the Clones writer / director George Lucas omitted Jar Jar almost completely. He's seen and heard briefly in one or two scenes. Lucas also made attempts to take the movie in a "darker" direction with the tone and action. Anakin Skywalker was played by a flat, miscast Hayden Christensen. Instead of making Anakin an incredible hero, Lucas attempted to enhance the "darker tone" of Attack of the Clones by making our supposed hero a petulant and annoying whiner. He was basically already evil. He and Obi-Wan constantly fought and didn't get along. It didn't make any sense, and even Ewan McGregor's performance as Obi-Wan was embarrassingly bad. It's one of the worst performances in a movie I've ever seen. His beard and hair are horribly fake, and his voice was terrible. The story is vaguely incoherent, and barely makes any sense. It's the worst Star Wars movie in history.

6. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
The whole world excitedly waited in anticipation for our pop culture to change forever with the blessing of a new Star Wars movie. I was in college, and I'll never forget that first showing as my friend and I filed into the theater with a thick crowd of excited fans. As the opening scroll lit the screen, we all cheered and clapped in excitement. It was like being at a rock concert. Then, the movie started and I watched wide-eyed, full of adrenaline. Light sabers, classic characters, space battles, and all the classic Star Wars lingo from my childhood bombarded my senses. Yet,....something was off. As the ending credits rolled, my friend and I left the theater, excitedly discussing what we had just seen. On the drive home, something began to sink into my mind. It was a nagging thought I couldn't quite shake. I had already purchased a ticket to see it again the next day with a different group of friends, so I tried to shake the nagging thought from my mind. But, it was lodged in there. The next day, I saw the Phantom Menace again. It was still an exciting, adrenaline-fueled thrill. Yet,...something was still wrong. The whole thing felt flat. This wasn't the Star Wars of my childhood at all. Slowly, I began to realize that this new Star Wars was essentially an animated cartoon because of all the CGI. Many of the characters were shallow and annoying. The plot barely made any sense, and didn't make any more sense the more I saw the movie. What was happening? Jar Jar, midechlorians, CGI, signing treaties, space trade disputes, a wrong-looking Yoda, awkward Natalie Portman, an incoherent story, an annoying child Anakin, and the list goes on.... My child-like enthusiasm and joy began to buckle under the heavy, heavy weight of a terrible reality: The Phantom Menace was a terrible movie. Yes, the special effects were dazzling. The light saber fights were an adrenaline-fueled adolescent fantasy come true. Yes, there were space ships and the Force. But, it all added up to awkward weirdness. It was then that I realized that The Phantom Menace was the most epic, heartbreaking flop in all of cinema history.

5. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
George Lucas recruited the help of some uncredited screen writers when drafting Revenge of the Sith.  After the artistic failures of the Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, Lucas needed help wrapping this thing up. He also employed some new directing and editing technology in the form of digital software and hardware. The result is a vastly improved installment of the Star Wars series. Lucas seemed to capitalize on the new found experience of writing and directing the first two prequels, and parlayed that experience to great gain for the grand finale. It's hard to believe Revenge of the Sith is part of this trilogy because it's so much better than the first two. I personally love it and it's the only movie of the prequel trilogy I can still watch today. The pacing, writing, coherence, and even special effects are a vast improvement. Even though Revenge is a movie in which the evil villains win, it's still a refreshing departure from the president set from the first two disasters.

4. Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Thrilling new characters, familiar territory, and the same amazing elements that made the originally trilogy make their way into this wonderful newest Star Wars. It's basically a tie with Return of the Jedi. Seeing the "legacy cast" was worth the price of admission. Yet, it was so much more. A fantastic movie. I love it. RIP Han.

3. Star Wars: A New Hope
The classic original. I've seen it enough times to almost quote it word for word.

2. Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
It's fun to see Luke Skywalker use his new found Jedi power. And, who hates ewoks? Not me! Also, seeing the conclusion of the Darth Vader / Emperor / Luke Skywalker story is incredible.

1. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
This is the one that elevated the Star Wars industry from a one-off stroke of luck to a solidified, bonafide, masterpiece. Yoda, darkness, revelation, and a deepening of the Star Wars universe are the hallmarks of the Empire Strikes Back. The characters get more familiar. They mature. The arc continues. It's my fav in the entire series of Star Wars movies. The 80's nostalgia is strong with this one.